somewhere stuck in the middle

I should feel relief but it is quickly met with insecurity and doubt. I should maybe catch you up. So I e-mailed my interviewer back, after much deliberation with my parents about what to say. She responded quite promptly saying she had yet another week of interviews and I should know by next Friday. To be quite honest I am over it. I finally decided I am going to head back to Charleston. I messed up the move home, I waited too long, and left half of my belongings behind. Once the gm put in my head he wanted to pay me more to come back, I left Chas physically but not mentally, and it has been holding me back ever since. I feel defeated in NY. I feel torn. I'm anxious and can't sleep. So I am venturing back. If for nothing else to collect the rest of my things...I think I am going to apply to grad school and in order to do that I need my art to make a portfolio. So I need to go to Chas. I would like to set up camp there for a bit but I am going to need a place to live and a place to work, both which are up in the air. I am just ready to move on from this...place I am in. So I will either find my life back in Chas, or officially move back from Chas and move on.