inspiration from the past

Spent time my good friend last night for a late night cap. Toasted a Manhatten in my grandma's honor. I have been drinking Manhattens all weekend, and I don't see it stopping anytime soon. It is a rough drink but I am finding comfort in it. My grandparents were married for 63 years, and I think they ended their nights every night with a manhatten for about 60 of those years! Maybe that's why they were always so cheery! I have been sifting through pictures after pictures of every generation growing up. I really love old black and white photos they are just so beautiful especially in this digital photoshop age. I think I want to have some slightly restored and blown up, maybe I could have my first solo show inspired by old family photos...it is definitely worth looking into.

tuesday blur

wow it's been a while...this weekend has made me question everything. I was getting things in line in Chas, new apt, work, window displays, a possible two art shows in April, our marketing guy has even taken me under his wing and is putting my name out there to be a freelance photographer. He has contacted 3-4 magazines/newspapers about me. I have heard back from all of them and one has even seen my photos and is really impressed. It looks like I will have some freelance work. Sounds great right. Well this weekend put everything into perspective with the passing of my grandma. It was sudden and for the most part out of the blue. One of the reasons I moved home was to be closer to family. My Italian side of my family is small, but close. This death has been hard, our family has been the same group for so long, there has been no spouses, no babies, and until this weekend no one has left...For the past 5+ years of being away from home, so much of my family has slipped away from me, things have changed, everyone has grown older. I'm not good keeping in contact. And a part of me always feels like something is missing when I am far from home. My oldest cousin was joking with me...."don't you just hate the family sometimes because you feel like you can't just move far away and be alright..." And it's true, a part of me will always be missing when I am far from home.
But I am so grateful for the family I have, and the older I have grown I have become more sentimental about them. I am not sure how my grandpa is going to handle this, and I don't want to get another phone call like that when I am in Charleston. Maybe I need to pull out of Charleston before my work roots get too deep there. Maybe it's time to establish myself in NY...

sunday night cupcake

Sara, who I am crashing with turned 24 last Thursday. I made her cupcakes (which I am enjoying a delicious one now) and I must say I make a mean cupcake, it could be a great thing for my coffee shop endeavours.

This weekend was the Food and Wine Festival in Charleston, Bobby Flay was there, I saw Richard Blaze from afar...I worked our booth Saturday afternoon, helping prepare our Roman Flatbread app. I was pretty much bent over, putting proscuitto and shaved parm on little flatbreads for about three hours straight, but it was fun. Friday night was one of the quarterly art walks, so free wine, free food, and art galleries open late is always a good time.

One of the owners of Mellow was in this weekend, he wanted to talk to me about my future with Mellow (just a job, or a possible career) but attempted to have the talk at about 2:30a.m, well 3:30 with the clock change. To my surprise I will be headed to Atlanta in a week for about 2-3 weeks to participate in the Mellow Mushroom franchise training program. I'm nervous I am getting in too deep, but I'm excited to get put up in a hotel for a few weeks and be able to explore Atlanta. And it never hurts to be trained on business administration, but I do have a feeling the classes are going to be booooooring! But there is also a week in the kitchen which should be fun. I do think it would be a fun life skill to know how to throw a pie. I move into the apt in 2 days...I am excited for that. We will see where the next couple of weeks takes me.

late night wine and chocolate

Tonight at work, a friend of mine (a very intoxicated friend of mine) started yelling at me, she told me how she really hated that I didn't put myself out there in the art world, how I am talented but lack the confidence (which is completely true I am not very confident in my art ability, and it will always hold me back) She yelled at me for my full time job being a restaurant manager, and how photography had taken a backseat and had become a hobby. She yelled at me for not taking risks and going after what I want because I have a good family I can fall back on. She is amazing, she is in her thirties and is a widow. It took her some time to get back on her feet but she really has an amazing outlook on life, and I need to use her words as my drive. I am playing it safe, doing a job I am not passionate about but I am good at. Of course I have a million excuses, but it's true I have not really put myself out there. Even in the art shows I have put on, I hang my photos last and they get hung just where there is room.
Our April show I already know what pieces I am hanging, and they will get hung first I have decided. Also March 10th, is the last day to submit photos to the citypaper photo contest, and I have nothing to lose...

So I have been researching different art jobs, specially at like home decor stores, and I know I just signed a lease, but I am still going to apply for a job back in Rochester, to be the visual coordinator of the Pottery Barn, not sure if it is the same job a friend of mine interviewed for, but I am applying because it never hurts. I need to stop holding myself back, and I need to stop pleasing others and start pleasing myself. Mellow is a good opportunity but if I find a better one, it would be in my best interest to take it. And in the mean time I need to get my charger back and take more photos.