welcome

You may call it stir crazy or a mental breakdown, I call it channeling my inner nut case for a worthy cause. I have a live journal which is mainly for the late night breakdowns, and my best friend and I have a photo blog, we try to upload a photo a day (heartslitteringtopsoil.blogspot.com) but I guess you can say my sarcastic self-pitying side was craving something more...
I am 25 and moved home (western NY) from Charleston SC a little over a month ago. Yes I moved from Charleston SC to upstate NY at the end of October. (I must have had a mini stroke) I do recall being delayed in the Charleston airport due to bad weather in Philly, when I finally arrived in Philly I was delayed again, a supposed to be 5hr trip turned into 10. I already felt the mockery. Now don't get me wrong it hasn't all been bad I have done a little traveling (Albany, NYC, Toronto) but let's fast forward a week into my trip I went to my first NFL game, the Bills vs the Jets. Now I haven't been a Bills fan in years, I think the whole going to 4 superbowls in a row and losing did me in, however my Dad has recently dusted off the old sweatshirt and over the past few years has become quite a fan. So there I stand in the cold outside of the stadium drinking beers and eating chips and dip with his coworkers. Hands just about numb we make our way into the suite and there before my wide eyes is the huge awesome field. The Bills were 5-2 playing the Jets who were 4-3, the Bills were favored to win....4 quarters later there in the huge awesome stadium I sat with disappointment at the 26-17 loss. There in that stadium is where the addiction began. (again) I continued to feed the addiction during disappointing loss after disappointing loss. A fumble here, incomplete pass here, missed kick there...last week I made Buffalo Wing Chicken dip (ummmm delish you should try)

(courtesy of allrecipes.com)
INGREDIENTS
* 2 (10 ounce) cans chunk chicken, drained
* 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
* 1 cup Ranch dressing
* 3/4 cup pepper sauce, such as Franks® Red Hot®
* 1 1/2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
*
* 1 bunch celery, cleaned and cut into 4 inch pieces
* 1 (8 ounce) box chicken-flavored crackers


DIRECTIONS

1. Heat chicken and hot sauce in a skillet over medium heat, until heated through. Stir in cream cheese and ranch dressing. Cook, stirring until well blended and warm. Mix in half of the shredded cheese, and transfer the mixture to a slow cooker. Sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top, cover, and cook on Low setting until hot and bubbly. Serve with celery sticks and crackers.

anyway....so dip for the game vs the 49ers they were like 3-9, easy win right....wrong
Another disappointing loss 13-3 (I believe, I tried to block it out)
Fast foward to about 4 1/2 hrs ago, the Bills still had a chance at the wild card, they had to win followed by a bunch of teams who had to lose...there was still hope.
New week, new game, new chance, the dolphins. Same disappointing story...interception here, incomplete pass there....

So since moving home from Charleston I am unemployed and a Bills fan. And what do I mean by Bills fan? I am addicted to a hopeful yet always disappointing in the end drug. Next week vs the Jets it will be the same story..... and there I will sit enchanted, hopeful in the first half, and probably pissed throwing popcorn at the tv in the second half...

tomorrow I have an interview at a restaurant in Buffalo (did I mention I live in Rochester) Why am I going to interview at a restaurant in Buffalo when I live in Rochester......eh what else will I do with my Monday anyway...